R. Tran Books

This appeared on my Facebook wall a few days ago and I thought it was worth reposting on another site. I did not write this and I’m not sure who did. It is as follows:

Just to clear things up… A lot of times when a woman leaves a long term relationship everyone’s very first thoughts are “she found someone else”or “how could she do this 😡“ all these years together“ and so much more, BUT what people don’t think about is all the times she went to sleep feeling like crap because of all the times that they disrespected her or how they kept saying they would change but never did…they don’t think about all the times she was there when no one else was. How she prayed to God to help them change. They don’t think about how she always put everyone and everything before herself. They don’t think about how all her friends and family told her to walk away but she still stayed. No…all they can think is “how could she do this” …women don’t just wake up one day and decide to leave. A person’s actions, their words, the way they make her feel builds up over time and eventually all their crap becomes this weight that she just can’t carry anymore. When she stops venting to you, when she stops getting on you, when she stops trying to get you to see things her way just know it’s not because you won and finally she’ll put up with everything, it’s because she’s preparing her escape from your toxic ways. So no she didn’t leave you to find someone else . She left so she can find HERSELF. 👌
Appreciate your woman while you have her … Because she will get the courage to walk away one day.
Ladies…know and realize your worth, love yourself!! ❤️

I saw this post and was like yep; been there, done that. I realize now how wrong it was. It’s not that I didn’t say anything, I did. The problem was I let him get away with the bullshit for so long it became normal. I wanted my marriage to work so badly that I was willing to give up who I was to make it happen.

I don’t know when I started to find my inner strength again. It was a slow process though. I do remember a month or two before it ended telling a friend at work that there were days “I would burn it all to the ground if not for my girls” not literally of course but you get my meaning.

In some ways I did and that’s my biggest regret. Not that I left but how I left, how things ended. Do yourself a favor if you find yourself in this position, talk to someone who’s been there.